YoYo Dieting....The Spiritual Way?

Raise your hand if you have ever went on a diet.  C'mon, raise your hands!  Let's be honest here, most of us have tried our share of diets...the Atkins Diet, the South Beach Diet, the 'I think I can magically become a vegan' diet, and the dreaded cabbage soup diet.  Anyone?  Bueller?  Well, if you have had the great luck of having a perfect body, never feeling the need to lose a couple pounds, and being 100% happy with your body everyday, all the time, then I hate you and you should just get off the computer now and go dance in meadows and breathe in the sunshine and all that crap, because you are wasting your time reading this.  But, if you are anything like me, you are not always satisfied with what yo mamma gave ya, or in my case what my dad gave me...thanks again dad for the thighs.  I, like many of you, have tried more diets than I'd care to admit, only to give up after a few short weeks.  It's not something I'm proud of, but I have the willpower of an unconscious turtle when it comes to diets.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a rockstar in the first 2 weeks, munching my celery sticks and taking the stairs instead of the elevator, you know the basics. But then something happens...nothing.  Just when I think I can't eat another watery green stick of unfulfillment, I remind myself that it will all be worth it when I see the number on the scale. WRONG!  Nothing has changed.  I weigh exactly the same, and if I'm really having an off day, I've gained a pound.  I am shocked, dismayed, baffled and downright pissed off.  I can't believe I didn't lose anything, zero, zilch, nada, NOTHING!  So, instead of digging down deep and finding that determination needed to succeed...I quit.  I give up.  I mean I tried right?  For 2 WHOLE weeks I was faithful to the celery and stairs, and what did they ever do for me?  Can anyone relate?  Please tell me I'm not the only one here.  Hi my name is Rylie, and I'm a yoyo dieter.  The problem is, I love food.  Not just any food, but really good food.  It's in my blood really, coming from a family of excellent cooks and restaurateurs.  I could spend hours in specialty food stores, and my favorite genre of books is cookbooks:)  But, I need to learn how to make good food work FOR me rather than against me.   And, most of all, I need to COMMIT.  I need to have faith that if I do what I know is best for me and my body, I will see results....eventually.  Coming to this self-realization brought up another area in my life that is a battle for me...my walk with God.  I never really thought about it until now, but I am a spiritual yoyo dieter.  Sounds funny right?  Well, track with me here.  I go through times in life when I feel so disconnected with God.  I examine my life and try to figure out why He feels so distant, and it always comes back to the same thing.  I'm not reading His word, I'm not praying, unless you count my 2 second prayer when I'm running low on gas begging to make it to the gas station, I'm not seeking answers from Him, or spending time with Him.  So, I dive head first into his Word.  I'm now a rockstar at spirituality.  I'm reading scripture everyday, I'm praying for hours and I'm doing my devotions like a champ...I'm fixed right?  I've mastered spirituality just like I mastered dieting, and in only two weeks.  Wow, that has to be some sort of record.  Um, no.  Not quite.  Just like dieting I expect to see some results and because I have the attention span of a 2 year old, I want to see them now.  So, after reading day after faithful day of scripture, and not having any gigantic revelations, or not hearing the audible voice of God, or not having a specific passage blink at me in neon lights, I get discouraged.  I mean seriously, I don't know what I'm expecting but I'm pretty sure that my bible did not come with neon blinking lights.  I just feel that if something obvious isn't happening in the very moment that I'm reading, or praying, or doing devotions, then it's not working.  Just like a diet.  If I don't see those numbers go down on the scale immediately, I want to give up. In fact sometimes I do give up, going weeks without opening my Bible or conversing with God.  It's no surprise that distance creeps in.  But, I finally feel like I'm starting to get it.  Just because I may not see the results immediately, I know it's for my benefit to press on.  Even thought I may not hear God when I am crying out for answers, I know He's listening and sometimes that's enough.  Even though I read the same verse over and over hoping I'll understand what the heck it's talking about, I know I'll get it one day when I'm faced with something and THAT verse pops into my head, and only then will it make sense.  I am tired of being a yoyo spiritual dieter, it's not healthy.  And just like with healthy diet and exercise, I might not be able to SEE the results right away, but my body can FEEL them.  I feel better, I have more energy, I'm not as tired, my confidence goes up.  It's the same with my walk with the Lord.  I may not be able to SEE the changes happening right away, or in a obvious way, but I know God is stirring something within me and my life will reflect that...eventually.  So, don't be discouraged when you feel like your talking to thin air when you pray, or that you don't have a holy moment for every time you read God's word.  Just know that by continuing to do it, you are feeding into your life, and you will see the changes from it.  God is faithful!