Without Lock & Key

This is a place to put my thoughts when my head gets overcrowded with the 'stuff' of life.  A journal of sorts, but for all the world to see.  I guess I need to put it all out there and hope that by doing so, I'll quit storing up so many ideas, emotions, revelations, jokes, questions, opinions and thoughts and actually leave some room in my life for God.  I have a friend who is a complete wizard at filling a storage unit after a gruesome move.  Trying to pack a 1000 sq. ft. apartment into a 10x10 concrete box has never been my area of expertise, but this girl is the Harry Potter of maximizing space of a storage unit by packing boxes in a Tetris level 10 sort of way.  Every nook and cranny is filled leaving no wasted space.  I can't seem to master that talent when it comes to packing a storage unit, but I've managed to do it with my life.  I can pack my life so full of stuff, that there isn't one inch of space left for God to live in.  I have rented out my brain to worry and fear, and my heart to pain and selfishness.  I always seem to find a way to squeeze in that last box, whether it be a new friendship or a new hobby, but for some reason there never seems to be enough room for God.  I've left God as the last thing to put in my life, leaving Him the lonely box in the moving van, hoping that there's enough room left to squeeze it in, and if not, oh well, I'll store it in my friends garage and probably forget all about it.  It's no wonder that every month or so I have a mini meltdown where I'm crying to my roommate about how I feel so distant from God.  I've forgotten all about Him...again!  I've just recently come to understand that those meltdowns are God's way of trying to clear everything out so that the only thing left is Him.  As youth group sermony as it sounds, I need to put God first. He needs to be the first thing I put in my life, hoping everything else fits and if not, oh well, I'll throw it away.  That's what this blog is for me, a chance to unpack, pack, and reorganize my life...Harry Potter style!